acceptance

I have to face the truth
That no one could look at me like you do
Like I'm something worth holding on to

Why do we struggle to accept the good intentions of others?
Why do we struggle to accept that maybe someone may like us for who we are?
Human nature inherently looks for the bad in everything, we seek a reason to sabotage ourselves, because to be happy seems to be something we don't believe we deserve, or that in the long run the same thing will happen to us as previously, and so we guard ourselves. I've brought this up before, but again I'd like to question it, that even in our happiest moments, we doubt and we question what should not be questioned.

I guess all I want to ask is, weighing it up, is the happiness before the almost inevitability of equal or greater value? How do we determine something as more or less important, when different perspectives and different experiences will present different answers? This isn't to say I'm not happy. I am, extraordinarily so, and for once I find myself not questioning it, which, in its turn, made me wonder why in the past I have been so quick to distrust.

And I apologise for the font size, I don't know what's going on with it....

the mind

Watched wolf creek today. Incredible movie, but one of the hardest things I've ever had to sit through. It wasn't even the gore, as Saw has completely desensitized us against that. Some of us even enjoy it... sylvia...
It was the complete abandonment of all stable mental faculties displayed by John Jarrat in the character of Mick Taylor. The indifference, and enjoyment he portrayed was unbelievably sickening, and why the film was so effective. If you watch movies for the purpose of squirming, I recommend this, although, if that is something you enjoy, you probably won't be as affected by this.

I found myself, at multiple points during the film, almost gagging at the sick ordeal unfolding on the screen. At other points, many times, myself and Fitzy screamed bloody murder at the screen in total and utter frustration.

But we came to this point. To those who've seen the film, you don't need this explanation, but to those who haven't, if you were in a situation where you and a friend were kidnapped, trapped and being tortured/raped by a complete madman. What would you do? Do you stick around, or do you run? Ignore the setting of the middle of butt-fucking nowhere, that's ont as relevant. But seriously, what would you do in this situation? No weapon, the assailant has guns, knives and is completely sick and indifferent. The HONEST answer may surprise you.

even though im in a period of pure happiness... lol

everyone is someone else's failure
i am your biggest defeat
you will forever be doomed to repeat and repeat
just try and forget what always is
make me that never was
we will circle the pit
but we'll never brave the depths of nightmares
to confront dreams has never been so picturesque
paint reality in a different shade and i'll always remember you
the way you want me to
the way you made my fears come true

the final struggle

this is it
we're underprepared
we know we should have put more into it
but this is where we stand
and this is how we will fight
as we are
nothing more
nothing less

the endgame begins in t-minus 5 days.

are you ready?

about time i wrote something

havent written lyrics or anything in a little while...


Know that I will stand and watch
While you plummet on those words
As sharp as swords when they left your mouth
Sharper still as they run you through

So far from a place to call home
You still find a way to burn every bridge
You still find a way to leave every rope
I won’t be here soon, I’m losing all hope

I need to hear your voice
That once held someone I loved
The melody that lifted me to the clouds
From a now dead heart, but I know,
I know it still beats somewhere.

The road begins to shake and turn
As you stumble towards the dark
We can only follow so far
I already know you won’t be back
I knew it long before I turned my back.